“God, Jeanie, I don't know how you could even talk to that guy. I mean like, he looks like a... he could hypnotize you like a cobra or something you know, and the next thing you're out on the Boulevard and you're dressed like the Pointer Sisters.”

Marilyn Kagan - Madge

“Damn girl... I didn't know Nike made dresses.”
Gabrielle Union - Shawnee

- Purse Snatcher: Jesus, lady! All this for just a hand bag?
- Kevin Copeland: It's not "just" a hand bag. It's Prada!
Marshall Virtue - Purse Snatcher
Shawn Wayans - Kevin Copeland

“- Nelson Moss: What are you doing?
- Sara Deever: Taking your shirt off.
- Nelson Moss: Why?
- Sara: So you can clean up.
- Nelson Moss: Why?
- Sara Deever: Because you smell like puppy pee.”
Keanu Reeves - Nelson Moss
Charlize Theron - Sara Deever

“Am I not turtley enough for the turtle club? Turtle, turtle, turtle!”
Dana Carvey - Pistachio Disguisey