“- Lloyd: We're just trying to provide you all with a balanced perspective, to see that there are options. In the end, it's up to you whether you choose to live a...
- Larry: Lie.
- Lloyd: Whether you want to be who you are or keep it hidden is really more what we're about.
- Megan: So you run like, the underground homo railroad.”
Wesley Mann - Lloyd
Richard Moll - Larry
Natasha Lyonne - Megan

“- J.D.: Well, you didn't know a lot of things. You didn't know I was gay.
- Wayne: Is there anything else you wanna tell me?
- J.D.: I got three balls.
- Wayne: Shut up! God!”
Jack Black - J.D.
Steve Zahn - Wayne

“Keeping my love for you a secret from the world seemed like a betrayal of that love. Now I know that I don't need anyone else to know about us. We are in love and even if a closet must protect our love it will never contain.”

Luke Kirby - Angelo Barberini

“- Tim O'Hara: O'Hara here, leave a message, keep it short.
- Mr. Channing: Channing here, you're fired. Short enough for you?”
Jeff Daniels - Tim O'Hara
Michael Lerner - Mr. Channing

“Up until 8 weeks ago, I worked for the FBI Miami... secretary... until I got fired for having a defective husband.”
Demi Moore - Erin Grant