“- Park Cheol-woong: We put a hypnosis-inducing drug in your water.
- Dae-su Oh: Sodium barbiturate?
- Park Cheol-woong: Ha! TV Man knows it all!”
Dal-su Oh - Park Cheol-woong
Min-sik Choi - Dae-su Oh

Three tomatoes are walking down the street: a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, and smooshes him... and says, "catch up".

Uma Thurman - Mia Wallace

“- William Shatner: You spear the knife into the bag... then pick some of the drugs up with the knife... then lightly press it on your tongue. And that is how TV cops taste drugs!
- Det. Mitch Preston: What if it's cyanide? There's a reason real cops don't taste drugs.”
William Shatner - Himself
Robert De Niro - Det. Mitch Preston

“- Daniel Schorr: There's a tiny camera looking at you right now.
- Nicholas Van Orton: That's impossible.
- Daniel Schorr: You're right, impossible. You're having a conversation with your television.”

Daniel Schorr - Daniel Schorr
Michael Douglas - Nicholas Van Orton

“- Neville Coltrane: Mate, Beijing called. We've got the television rights to their public executions.
- Rod McCain: Worldwide?
- Neville Coltrane: Five guys a week, guaranteed.
- Rod McCain: Beauty.”
Bille Brown - Neville Coltrane
Kevin Kline - Rod McCain