“- Lisa: Promise me you'll never die.
- Gary Johnston: You know I can't promise that.
- Lisa: If you did that, I would make love to you right now.
- Gary Johnston: I promise I'll never die.”
Kristen Miller - Lisa
Trey Parker - Gary Johnston

“- Annuka: Is the Blackrobe a demon? He must be. Blackrobes never have sex with women.
- Daniel: It's a promise they make to their God.
- Annuka: Why make a promise like that?
- Daniel: Strange, isn't it?”
Sandrine Holt - Annuka
Aden Young - Daniel

“- Irina Asanova: The director of that film promised me a pair of new boots if I went to bed with him. Think I should?
- Arkady Renko: Well, the winter's almost over.
- Irina Asanova: Exactly, and I am a Siberian, I'm used to the cold.”
Joanna Pacula - Irina Asanova
William Hurt - Arkady Renko

“- John Smith: Does your boss have a first name?
- Lucy Kolinski: Only in the bedroom.”
Bruce Willis - John Smith
Alexandra Powers - Lucy Kolinski

“What did you say your name was?”

Paul Pape - Double J.