“When did Halloween go from dressing up like a princess to dressing up like a whore?”
Emma Roberts - Sloane

“What do you call a girl without an asshole? Single.”
Madonna - Sarah Jennings

“You treat a hot girl like dirt, and she'll stick to you like mud.”
Jason Segel - Sam Schechter

- Manny: So, you think she's the girl for me?
- Sid: Oh, yeah, she's tons of fun, and you're no fun at all. She "completes" you.
Ray Romano - Manny
John Leguizamo - Sid

“Let me tell you the first rule of politics: always know if the juice is worth the squeeze. You know what that means? It means you don't steal my girl unless you're ready to accept the consequences.”
Timothy Olyphant - Kelly