“- Richie: Clark! You kissed a girl before I did?
- Clark: This is way better than macaroni!”
David Spade - Richie
Jon Heder - Clark

“Hank, you know, I've never, I've never even kissed a girl before. And you know what? If being rich will change that, I'm all for it. I don't care. I just wanna feel it, you know? I just wanna know what people do, you know? I don't care if it's 'cause of the money.”
Billy Bob Thornton - Jacob

- Valerie: I didn't want you to think Earth girls were easy.
- Mac: What is "easy"?
- Valerie: This is "easy".

Geena Davis - Valerie
Jeff Goldblum - Mac

“You see a dog. I see an animal that believes with every fiber of his being that the girl he loves is in mortal danger. I see a depth of emotion on the face of that canine the likes of which has never been captured on screen before.”

James Lipton - The Director

“I don't love you because love is for girls and girls are disgusting.”
Rik Mayall - Drop Dead Fred