“- Harriet M. Welsch: I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry.
- Ole Golly: Nah it's okay to cry, but whatever you do, don't laugh, no Harriet, I will not tolerate laughter as I leave. No.”
Michelle Trachtenberg - Harriet M. Welsch
Rosie O'Donnell - Ole Golly

“- Frank Cross: I get it. You're taking me back in time to show me my mother and father, and I'm supposed to get all goosey and blubbery. Well, forget it, pal, you got the wrong guy!
- Ghost of Christmas Past: That's exactly what Attila the Hun said. But when he saw his mother... Niagara Falls!”
Bill Murray - Frank Cross
David Johansen - Ghost of Christmas Past

“Caroline-You need to react when people cry
Max-I did! I rolled my eyes!”
Kat Dennings - Max Black
Beth Behrs - Caroline Channing

“- Nellie Kelly: There's nothing like a darn good cry, is there?
- Michael Noonan: There's whiskey.”
Judy Garland - Nellie Kelly
Charles Winninger - Michael Noonan

“- His Excellency: I presume your funeral was satisfactory.
- Henry Van Cleve: Well, there was a lot of crying, so I believe everybody had a good time.”
Laird Cregar - His Excellency
Don Ameche - Henry Van Cleve