“I lost my virginity to my cousin, Jeanie. It was my Uncle Murray’s funeral, we were all back at my Aunt Barbara’s house. Our eyes locked over the pickled herring. We never meant for it to happen. To this day, I can’t look at pickled herring without being aroused and ashamed. Oh, cousin Jeanie.”
Simon Helberg - Howard Wolowitz

“You can’t choose who you are attracted to. You can’t engineer a relationship. You have to do what’s right.”
Asa Butterfield - Otis Milburn

“I know what you can't say. You wanna get laid. You wanna hump your brains out.”
Maureen Stapleton - Ma Kelly

“- Ramu Gupta: The most powerful sexual organ is your brain. Think about it. Are you thinking?
- Turned On Woman: My whole body is about to think!”
Jimi Mistry - Ramu Gupta
Edythe Bronstein - Turned On Woman

“- Vladimir: An unspoken attraction!
- Dimitri: Attraction?! To that skinny little brat? Have you lost your mind?
- Vladimir: I was only asking a simple question...
- Dimitri: Attraction... ridiculous!”

Kelsey Grammer - Vladimir
John Cusack - Dimitri