“- Jeff: Hi, I’m Jeff... I have a bush too. It's not grey.
- Alex: Hey!
- Jeff: What?
- Alex: My bush isn't really grey.
- Jeff: Well, not according to my mom.”
Nick Swardson - Jeff
Allen Covert - Alex

“- Rozalin Focker: Well you know, honey, many unplanned pregnancies happen because the man is such a sexual dynamo, and the woman craves his sperm on an unconscious but very powerful level.
- Greg Focker: Mom, I'm truly not comfortable having this conversation with you. I've been telling you that since I was eleven.”
Barbra Streisand - Rozalin Focker
Ben Stiller - Greg Focker

“- Georgey Sanderson: [reading an adult magazine] Dad, what's a rack?
- Peter Sanderson: It's a country.”
Angus T. Jones - Georgey Sanderson
Steve Martin - Peter Sanderson

“- Female Highway Patrol Officer: Looks like we found something.
- Big John: What's that?
- Female Highway Patrol Officer: A concealed weapon.”

Leilani Sarelle - Female Highway Patrol Officer
Fred Thompson - Big John

“It was, quite simply, the worst night of my life, my embarrassment compounded by the fact that Victor had now slept with two out of the three members of my family.”
Sir Michael Caine - Matthew Hollis