“- Boardroom Lady: Whores running around, doing their little behind-shake for the men folk...
- Richard: I kinda like her idea.
- Boardroom Man: For Christ's sake. Once during the war I visited a prostitute, and my life has been a living hell ever since.”
Helen Hughes - Boardroom Lady
David Spade - Richard
J.R. Zimmerman - Boardroom Man

“- Kim Wheeler: I'm just taking an interest in your Iife, as your stepmom.
- Dorothy Wheeler: When you're oId enough to rent a car, we can discuss your roIe as my stepmother. In the meantime, don't taIk about my sex Iife.
- Kim Wheeler: You? Have a sex life?
- Dorothy Wheeler: I do. But I don't charge by the hour Iike you.”
Benita Ha - Kim Wheeler
Jessica Capshaw - Dorothy Wheeler

“- Arthur Bach: [soliciting a prostitute] What I had in mind was spending the night with a stranger who loves me.
- Gloria: Gonna cost you a hundred bucks.
- Arthur Bach: Oh, yeah? What time do you get off?
[bursts out laughing]
- Arthur Bach: Oh, that's funny!”
Dudley Moore - Arthur Bach
Anne De Salvo - Gloria

“- Debbie Thompson: Are there gonna be girls at the party?
- Rick Gassko: No... it's a 'stag' party, and that means that the 'does' stay home!
- Debbie Thompson: I'm not talking about the 'does'. I'm talking about hookers.”
Tawny Kitaen - Debbie Thompson
Tom Hanks - Rick Gassko

“I can't wait to take leave so I can get me some fucking poontang.”

Trey Parker - Mr. Herbert Garrison