“After a while you stop hearing your bones break, your teeth rattle. You just concentrate on holding tight to that little part right at the center. The rest doesn't matter. They're gonna take the rest anyway.”

Bruce Willis - John Smith

“- Mrs. Nordberg: Oh, my poor Nordberg! He was such a good man, Frank. He never wanted to hurt anyone. Who would do such a thing?
- Ed Hocken: It's hard to tell.
- Frank Drebin: A roving gang of thugs, a blackmailer, an angry husband, a gay lover...”

Susan Beaubian - Mrs. Nordberg
George Kennedy - Ed Hocken
Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin

“- Sven: What do we do with this guy?
- Brodski: I promised the professor that we take this guy alive. After you blow him all to hell, put one in his leg so we can tell the professor we tried.”
Thomas Seniuk - Sven
Peter Mensah - Brodski

“- Joe: Ah, the dog likes you.
- Gary: She has a lot of scars.
- Joe: Yeah, but all the others... all the others are dead.”
Nicolas Cage - Joe
Tye Sheridan - Gary

“- Ellen Griswold: I think I broke my nose.
- Rusty Griswold: I stabbed my brain.
- Audrey Griswold: I just got my period.”

Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold
Anthony Michael Hall - Rusty Griswold
Dana Barron - Audrey Griswold