“You see these hands? You see them? If I put them in my pockets I will be arrested for concealing lethal weapons.”
Jim Varney - Ernest P. Worrell

“- Frank Fencepost: I got my Dad's .22.
- Wendel: McNaughton keeps that .44 in the back of his GTO.
- Frank Fencepost: Coyote, what do you got?
- Robert Coyote: I've got my fucking hands!”
Adam Beach - Frank Fencepost
Robert Frank Pegahmagabow - Wendel
Selim Running Bear Sandoval - Robert Coyote

“- Jim: Look at my hand.
[raises hand and holds it level]
- Bart: Steady as a rock.
- Jim: [raises his other hand, which is violently trembling] Yeah, but I shoot with this one.”
Gene Wilder - Jim
Cleavon Little - Bart

“Don't you know who I am? I am Chocolate Chip Charlie! My hands are registered with the mid-New Jersey police as lethal weapons, and I eat them guns for breakfast!”
Garrett Morris - "Chocolate Chip" Charlie W. Hobbs

“I'm your worst nightmare: an eight-year-old with a badge!”
Norman D. Golden II - Devon Butler