“- Juliana: Ruber.
- Ruber: Juliana. I was in the neighborhood, and I thought I'd invade. How about a kiss? I hear you're still single...
- Juliana: Impertinent pig.
- Ruber: Is that a no?”
Jane Seymour - Juliana
Gary Leonard Oldman - Ruber

“- Miss Plimsoll: It's beddy-bye. We better go upstairs now, get undressed and lie down.
- Sir Wilfrid: We? What a nauseating prospect.”
Elsa Lanchester - Miss Plimsoll
Charles Laughton - Sir Wilfrid Roberts

“- Clark Griswold: Could I do your back, honey?
- Ellen Griswold: I've already done my back.
- Clark Griswold: Could I do your front?
- Ellen Griswold: Go do your own front.”
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold

“- Miss Millie: Your children are so clean. Would you like to work for me, be my maid?
- Sofia: Hell no.”
Dana Ivey - Miss Millie
Oprah Winfrey - Sofia

“- Leonard Marliston: Cindy, come on, I think it's important in time like this, we offer each other some support.
- Cindy: I'd like to offer the killer's ass some support... in the fucking electric chair.”
Jay Mohr - Leonard Marliston
Kristen Miller - Cindy