“Prison isn't so bad. We do get salisbury steak on Wednesdays.”
French Stewart - Marv Merchants

“Dude, it's not big deal if you like to fuck guys. I'm cool, I got friends who fuck guys… in jail.”
Romany Malco - Jay

“So you're the new chicken licker.”

Robert Deacon - Prisoner

“- Cindy Campbell: We have to call the police!
- Ray Wilkins: No way! I ain't going to jail!
- Greg Phillippe: He's right! Cindy, do you know what they do to young boys in prison? All of those sex-starved convicts just waiting for a fresh piece of meat?
- Ray Wilkins: Hey, Cindy's right. Maybe we should call the police.”

Anna Faris - Cindy Campbell
Shawn Wayans - Ray Wilkins
Lochlyn Munro - Greg Phillippe

“- Kumar Patel: Are all the guards in Guantanamo Bay gay?
- Big Bob: Fuck no! There ain't nothing gay about getting your dick sucked! You're the ones that're gay for sucking my dick!”
Kal Penn - Kumar Patel
Randal Reeder - Big Bob