“- Ron Thompson: It's just that my dad doesn't understand your dad.
- Amy Szalinski: Your dad doesn't understand anything.”
Jared Rushton - Ron Thompson
Amy O'Neill - Amy Szalinski

“- Lillian Meechum: Your father is very nervous about this game. Look at me, young lady! Look at me! You've got to interpret the signals he gives off!
- Mary Anne Meechum: No problem! He always gives off the signals of a psychopathic killer, so it really doesn't matter how you interpret them!”
Blythe Danner - Lillian Meechum
Lisa Jane Persky - Mary Anne Meechum

“- Dr. Hackenbush: I proposed to your mother once.
- Judy: But that's my father!
- Dr. Hackenbush: No wonder he turned me down.”

Groucho Marx - Dr. Hackenbush
Maureen O'Sullivan - Judy

“What kind of father wants his own son to fail?”
James Franco - Jake Huard

“Better a dead father than a lousy father.”
Brad Pitt - Heinrich Harrer