“I tried to stop it. I did everything I could, but they hated her. They hated her so much. They hated that she was smarter than them, they hated being out there with someone who had to squat to piss. I tried to save her. I did everything I could, but I couldn't make them stop.”

Brad Beyer - Bransford

“- Reg: If you want to join the People's Front of Judea, you have to really hate the Romans.
- Brian Cohen: I do!
- Reg: How much?
- Brian Cohen: A lot!
- Reg: Right, you're in.”
John Marwood Cleese - Reg
Graham Arthur Chapman - Brian Cohen

“Romantic? Hemingway? He was an abusive, alcoholic misogynist who squandered half of his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers.”
Julia Stiles - Katarina Stratford

“You should never let a chick get in your head; that's why I prefer not to even talk to my dates.”
Rob Corddry - Hater

“Women should be kept illiterate and clean, like canaries.”
Roscoe Karns - Phil Whittaker