“- Clothing Store Woman: Have you ever had experience?
- Sean: With what?
- Clothing Store Woman: Women's clothes?
- Sean: What the fuck would I be doing with women's clothes? What do I look like a transvestite? I'm not no fucking transvestite, all right?”

Joyce Cohen - Clothing Store Woman
Devon Sawa - Sean

“- Mr. Simms: Do you have any experience?
- Robbie Hart: No, sir, I have no experience but I'm a big fan of money. I like it, I use it, I have a little. I keep it in a jar on top of my refrigerator. I'd like to put more in that jar. That's where you come in.”

Kevin Nealon - Mr. Simms
Adam Sandler - Robbie Hart

“This is my first experience with burlesque. It's a surprising profession.”
Charles Dingle - Inspector Harrigan

“I've taught you much, my little droogies.”
Malcom McDowell - Alex (A Clockwork Orange)

“- Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: Rusty, may I call you Rusty? I had a bad experience on this ride once.
- Rusty Griswold: What happened?
- Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: I threw up.”
John Candy - Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld
Anthony Michael Hall - Rusty Griswold