Hitler goes to a fortune-teller and asks, "When will I die?" and the fortune-teller replies, "On a Jewish holiday". Hitler then asks, "How do you know that?" and she replies, "Any day you die will be a Jewish holiday".
Robin Williams - Jakob

“He's technically Jewish but wants to be a Nazi.”

Jeannie Berlin - Aunt Reet

“I'm an atheist, but I resented the fact however obliquely that they implied that Auschwitz was basically just a theme park.”
Woody Allen - David Dobel

You know there were actually groups in Germany called "Jews for Hitler"? They were deluded, they thought he'd be good for the country.
Woody Allen - David Dobel

“Why did God allow me to survive? Who knows? Well I must believe it was so I can help bring more children into the world. Free children, children with a chance to live.”

Christine Lahti - Gisella Perl