“- Motorcycle Officer: License, lady?
- Maude: I don't have one. I don't believe in them.”
Tom Skerritt - Motorcycle Officer
Ruth Gordon - Maude

“Where did you get your goddamn license? Shithead!”
Kelly Lynch - Dianne

- Cher: "Second notice on three outstanding tickets". I don't remember getting a first notice.
- Mel Horowitz: The ticket is the first notice! I didn't even know you could get tickets without a license.
- Cher: Oh, you can get tickets anytime.
Alicia Silverstone - Cher
Dan Hedaya - Mel Horowitz

“- Les Anderson: Hey dad, did you take a look at that brochure I gave you?
- Mr. Anderson: Yeah.
- Les Anderson: And what did you think?
- Mr. Anderson: A 23,000 dollar BMW for a kid who hasn't had a job in his life... I think it's a great idea!”
Corey Haim - Les Anderson
Richard Masur - Mr. Anderson

“Mr. Anderson, it's punks like you that paramedics end up scraping off the road at four in the morning. For your sake, and the safety of others, I hope you fail your driving exam.”
Michael Ensign - School Teacher