“- Big Time Willie: Do you know how to spell pussy?
- Coleman 'Booger' Sykes: I know! P-U...
- Big Time Willie: ...H-I-V.”
Roger Guenveur Smith - Big Time Willie
Hill Harper - Coleman 'Booger' Sykes

“- Ste Pearce: You cannot transmit the HIV virus by frottage. What's frottage?
- Jamie Gangel: It's yogurt. It's French.”

Scott Neal - Ste Pearce
Glen Berry - Jamie Gangel

“Condoms are in fashion again because of disease. Nowadays you have to boil people before you can sleep with them.”
John Travolta - Paul Brenner

“How did I get it? I mean, it's nothing to do with too much sex, is it?”

Rachel Griffiths - Rhonda Epinstalk

“Can you get an STD from a polar bear?”
Zach Galifianakis - Luke