“- Interviewer: Tell me. Joe or Joseph, why do you want to be a doctor?
- Joe Slovak: That's easy. I want to help people.
- Interviewer: Come one Joe, you can be honest with me. Why do you want to be a doctor?
- Joe Slovak: Well, uh, I want to make lots of money.”
Matthew Modine - Joe Slovak

“- Dr. Werner Ernst: If he's going to die, why should we proceed?
- Dr. Butz: Where have you been all your life? It's called revenue!”
James Spader - Dr. Werner Ernst
Albert Brooks - Dr. Butz

“- Egbert Sousé: Hello, Doc. How are ya? How's business?
- Dr. Stall: Fair, fair. I don't suppose we'll ever get another whooping cough epidemic again.”
W.C. Fields - Egbert Sousé
Harlan Briggs - Dr. Stall

“- Peter Kirk: Are there many lady doctors?
- Helen Hunt: A few.
- Peter Kirk: As beautiful as you?
- Helen Hunt: No doubt.
- Peter Kirk: The time I've wasted being well.”
Henry Fonda - Peter Kirk
Barbara Stanwyck - Helen Hunt

“- Dr. Einstein: I cannot operate without a drink!
- Jonathan Brewster: Pull yourself together, doctor!
- Dr. Einstein: I cannot pull myself together without a drink!”
Peter Lorre - Dr. Einstein
Raymond Massey - Jonathan Brewster