“- Danny Noonan: I planned to go to law school after I graduated, but it looks like my folks won't have enough money to put me through college.
- Judge Elihu Smails: Well, the world needs ditch diggers, too.”
Michael O'Keefe - Danny Noonan
Ted Knight - Judge Elihu Smails

“My old lady couldn't afford to send me to college. So I got a job. I was washing dishes, dumping trash... all that sort of shit.”
Eric Freeman - Ricky Caldwell

“- Judy Witwicky: Look at this place! I feel smarter already! Can you smell that?
- Ron Witwicky: Yeah, smells like $40,000 a year.”

Julie White - Judy Witwicky
Kevin Dunn - Ron Witwicky

“- Dawn Weiner: I don't want to go to Disney World.
- Mark Weiner: Don't be stupid. If nothing else, it'll look good on your college résumé.”
Heather Matarazzo - Dawn Wiener
Matthew Faber - Mark Wiener

“- Shaun: I have to go to college.
- Cindy: Why?
- Shaun: Because it's what you do after high school.”
Colin Hanks - Shaun Brumder
Catherine O'Hara - Cindy Beugler