“Prepare ship for ludicrous speed! Fasten all seatbelts, seal all entrances and exits, close all shops in the mall, cancel the three ring circus, secure all animals in the zoo!”
George Wyner - Colonel Sandurz

“- Rusty Griswold: Dad wasn't speeding. The cop stopped us because Dad forgot to...
- Ellen Griswold: He was speeding, Rusty!
- Rusty Griswold: No he wasn't, Mom. He...
- Clark Griswold: Rusty! Listen to your mother. I was speeding. I was driving like a maniac. We can all be grateful for this man for stopping us.”
Anthony Michael Hall - Rusty Griswold
Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Texas Man: Am I going too fast for ya?
- Pistachio Disguisey: Am I going to fast for ya?
- Texas Wife: Are you mocking my husband?
- Pistachio Disguisey: Are you mocking my husband?
- Texas Wife: ‘Cuz you better not be.
- Pistachio Disguisey: ‘Cuz you better not be.”
Robert Machray - Texas Man
Dana Carvey - Pistachio Disguisey
Rachel Lederman - Texas Wife

- Dale Kerrigan: [voice-over] Dad always said “the faster you go, the more you see”.
- Darrel Kerrigan: Did ya see that?
- Dale Kerrigan: What?
- Darrel Kerrigan: Oh back there.
Stephen Curry - Dale Kerrigan
Michael Caton-Jones - Darryl Kerrigan

“The satellite doesn't work as fast as I do.”
Ving Rhames - Luther Stickell