“- Brian Cohen: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly!
- Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.
- Brian Cohen: What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!”
Graham Arthur Chapman - Brian Cohen

“If you commit yourself to the love of Christ, then that is how you run a straight race.”
Ian Charleson - Eric Liddell

“- Brian Hope: Let me try and summarize this: god is his son. And his son is god. But his son moonlights as a holy ghost, a holy spirit, and a dove. And they all send each other, even though they're all one and the same thing.
- Charlie McManus: You've got it. You really could be a nun!”
Eric Idle - Brian Hope
Robbie Coltrane - Charlie McManus

“Born-agains say I don't believe in Jesus, so I'll go to Hell. Jews say I do believe in Jesus, I'll go to Hell. Catholics say I don't believe in the pope, I'll go to Hell. So any way you look at it, I'm in the shit.”
Ben Mendelsohn - Malcolm Bench

“It's weird that someone that studies rocks is really into Jesus.”
Greta Gerwig - Brooke