Men... they're all alike. They'll deceive you as your father did me. He kissed a chorus girl and when I found out he said "Oh, I was drunk and didn't know what I was doing".

Margaret Dumont - Mrs. Hemogloben

“That man is an ass. But he's got this really sweet girlfriend. God knows what she found to love about him, but she does. He cheats on her like a nutter.”
Matthew Goode - Heck

“- Susie: What the fuck was that? Did you cum? You faked it.
- Matt: No, no, no. Guys don't fake it. I don't even think that we can.”

Emmanuelle Vaugier - Susie
Josh Hartnett - Matt

“Ain't it just grand layin' there late at night in your bed, waitin' for your man to show up? And when he finally does, at oh about 4 o'clock in the mornin', with whiskey on his breath, and the smell of another woman on his person... Oh honey, I can smell another woman at 500 paces. That's a easy one to catch.”

Bette Midler - Mary Rose Foster

“You don't know what they're like. You fall for them and you really love them you think this is gonna be the biggest thing since the Graf Zeppelin and the next thing, you know, they're borrowing money from you and spending it on other dames and betting on horses.”
Marilyn Monroe - Sugar Kane Kowalczyk