“We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.”
Brad Pitt - Tyler Durden

- Doug Butabi: [yelling at his dad] Are you seeing planes? Is your nameTattoo? Because I swear to God, you're living on "Fantasy Island".
- Steve Butabi: Man, that was a sweet show!
- Doug Butabi: Yeah it was, wasn't it?
Chris Kattan - Doug Butabi
Will Ferrell - Steve Butabi

- Max Belfort: I wait all week for the fucking "Equalizer" and they have to fucking... [picks up the phone, calmly] Hello?... Jean? How are you, Jean?... Righto, Jean, that'll be great... Cheerio! [hangs up, explodes] Fucking half-wit!
- Leah Belfort: You missed it!
- Max Belfort: God... damn it!

Rob Reiner - Max Belfort
Christine Ebersole - Leah Belfort

“- Mollie: Dr. Spock does not just want to sell a book! Dr. Spock loves us. During the Vietnam War, Dr. Spock was out protesting in the streets!
- James: God, I'm sorry I said anything about Dr. Spock, okay. [to her son] I can't believe she's getting that upset about a Vulcan. Big ears, no emotions, right?”
Kirstie Alley - Mollie
John Travolta - James

“- Cop #1: Hey, didya see that, uh, Nina Bedford show this morning?
- Cop #2: Yeah, that uh... thing about toast-fucking.
- Cop #1: ...toast-fucking?
- Cop #2: Yeah - it's the new thing where you fuck or get fucked with toast.
- Cop #1: No, the... the show this morning was about that new drug.
- Cop #2: Oh. Must have been a dream I had.”
Mark McKinney - Cop #1
Bruce McCulloch - Cop #2