“Elephantiasis is when something gets bloated and ugly like your ass.”

Ethan Hawke - Ben Crandall

- Jack Powell: You know what your problem is, Mister? You have “Exactly Disease”.
- Angry Man: What's that?
- Jack Powell: It's when your mouth smells exactly like your butt!
Robin Williams - Jack Powell
Edward Lynch - Angry Man

“- Bob Wiley: You ever hear of Tourette's syndrome? Involuntarily shouting profanity?
- Dr. Leo Marvin: It's exceptionally rare.
- Bob Wiley: Shit-eating son-of-a-bitch! Bastard, douche-bag, twat, numb-nuts, dickhead, bitch!
- Dr. Leo Marvin: Why exactly are you doing this?
- Bob Wiley: If I fake it, then I don't have it.”
Bill Murray - Bob Wiley
Richard Stephen Dreyfuss - Dr. Leo Marvin

“You know, you remind me of an infection that I once had.”
Craig Chester - Terry

“- Bob Wallace: How do you do?
- Doris: Mutual, I'm sure.”
Bing Crosby - Bob Wallace
Barrie Chase - Doris Lenz