“- Richter: I want that fucker dead!
- Helm: I don't blame you, man. I wouldn't want a guy like Quaid porking my old lady.
- Richter: You saying she liked it?
- Helm: Uh... no... I'm sure she hated every minute of it.”
Michael Ironside - Richter
Michael Champion - Helm

“- Judge: Bailiff! Throw this jackass out of my courtroom!
- Mr. Mifflin: He's not only that! He's also a pervert! He touches himself in the mens room!
- Peggy Schuyler: And he cheated on my daddy! He had sex with a dead woman in your office!
- Burton Schuyler: You're fired Cobb!”
Harvey Vernon - Judge
Michael Ensign - Mr. Mifflin
Madolyn Smith Osborne - Peggy Schuyler
Dana Elcar - Burton Schuyler

“You fucked Anna 'cause you couldn't fuck Rachel anymore, and you fucked me 'cause you couldn't fuck Anna. Take us all away and you're just a pathetic, impotent man.”

Haley Bennett - Megan

“- Dr. Ben Sobel: Why do you have a girlfriend?
- Paul Vitti: I do things with her I can't do with my wife.
- Dr. Ben Sobel: Why can't you do them with your wife?
- Paul Vitti: That's the mouth she kisses my kids goodnight with! What are you, crazy?”
Billy Crystal - Dr. Ben Sobel
Robert De Niro - Paul Vitti

“- Alec Newbary: You ran out on this relationship, you take the consequences.
- Leslie Hunter: I didn't run out on anything. You ran out.
- Alec Newbary: You fucked Kevin.
- Leslie Hunter: [shouting] You fucked many!
- Alec Newbary: Nameless, faceless many.
- Leslie Hunter: I feel much better now. Thanks.”
Ally Sheedy - Alec Newbary
Judd Nelson - Leslie Hunter