“- Captain Dickson: Waiter, can a black man get some water?
- Schmidt: Someone get the fucking man some water. He's black, he's been through a lot!”
Ice Cube - Captain Dickson
Jonah Hill - Schmidt

“What do you mean by reading a book? Suppose you learn something. Loyal Moronicans shouldn't read. Take your troops out and have them burn every book in Moronica.”
Moe Howard - Moe Hailstone

“We have no secrets from our readers.”

Orson Welles - Kane

“Mr. Thatcher is one of our most devoted readers, Mr. Bernstein. He knows what's wrong with every issue since I've taken charge.”

Orson Welles - Kane

“- Betty: I know about this house - it's haunted. I read about it in the Sunday Magazine section.
- Jerry: You did what?
- Betty: Well, somebody read it to me... but I know it's haunted.”
Betty Kean - Betty
June Preisser - Jerry