- Jennifer Baker: You said "Love Cake"!
- Pistachio Disguisey: Why would I say that? Your hindquarters are hideously scrawny!
- Jennifer Baker: What?
- Pistachio Disguisey: What I was trying to say is that I have a present for Barney. [hands her knee pads] Tell him they are from his dad... da da da dat Italian guy... Me.
Jennifer Esposito - Jennifer Baker
Dana Carvey - Pistachio Disguisey

“I've no idea of the future, but I can see the past quite well. And the present, if the weather's clear.”
John Carroll Lynch - Tadhg

“I know it is a little early for Christmas, Edward, but; I have a present for you.”

Vincent Price - The Inventor

“- Gladys Leeman: [wearing her old pageant outfit] And can you believe it, they still fit!
- Loretta: She had a big ass then, she's got a big ass now.”
Kirstie Alley - Gladys Leeman
Allison Janney - Loretta

“If you go into the past, that past becomes your future, and your former present becomes the past, which can't now be changed by your new future!”
Mark Ruffalo - Hulk