“- Dr. Lester: If I was 80 years younger, I'd box your ears.
- Craig Schwartz: I wasn't toying with her sir, I wouldn't - pardon me, how old are you, sir?
- Dr. Lester: 105. Carrot juice, lots of it. I swear, sometimes it's not worth it. I piss orange. I have to piss sitting down like a goddamn girlie-girl every fifteen minutes.”
Orson Bean - Dr. Lester
John Cusack - Craig Schwartz

“Older people start aging backwards at some point.”
Mackenzie Astin - Henry Villard

“Just because we're older doesn't mean we're old. This is the '90s.”
Diane Keaton - Nina Banks

“- Eva: Did they just turn the music louder?
- Albert: No, I think you just got older.”
Julia Louis-Dreyfus - Eva
James Gandolfini - Albert

“By your eighties, you've had a major stroke, and you end up babbling to some Jamaican nurse who your wife can't stand but who you call mama.”
Billy Crystal - Mitch Robbins