“- Paul Finch: So, ah, would you object if I said you were quite striking?
- Stifler's Mom: Mister Finch, are you trying to seduce me?
- Paul Finch: Yes ma'am, I am.”
Eddie Kaye Thomas - Paul Finch
Jennifer Coolidge - Stifler's Mom

- Martin Daniels: He says he doesn't wear a wig, and a person doesn't take it as a compliment if you say, "nice wig".
- Clifford: But I didn't say "nice wig", Uncle Martin, I said "bestest-looking wig". I believe there is a difference.
Charles Grodin - Martin Daniels
Martin Hayter Short - Clifford Daniels

“Your hair is like a field of silver daisies. I'd like to run barefoot through your hair!”

Franchot Tone - Gifford Middleton

“- Quincy McCall: I took the hoe to Burger King.
- Monica Wright: Cheap date.”
Omar Epps - Quincy McCall
Sanaa Lathan - Monica Wright

“She wants a sensitive guy... more like the old me. Well, if she wants Mr. Rogers, then I'm going to show her the biggest pussy she's ever seen.”
Ryan Reynolds - Chris Brander