“- Paul Finch: So, ah, would you object if I said you were quite striking?
- Stifler's Mom: Mister Finch, are you trying to seduce me?
- Paul Finch: Yes ma'am, I am.”
Eddie Kaye Thomas - Paul Finch
Jennifer Coolidge - Stifler's Mom

- Martin Daniels: He says he doesn't wear a wig, and a person doesn't take it as a compliment if you say, "nice wig".
- Clifford: But I didn't say "nice wig", Uncle Martin, I said "bestest-looking wig". I believe there is a difference.
Charles Grodin - Martin Daniels
Martin Hayter Short - Clifford Daniels

“Your hair is like a field of silver daisies. I'd like to run barefoot through your hair!”

Franchot Tone - Gifford Middleton

- Judge Cotton: Does this guy "Candy" Johnson bother you, my dear?
- Elizabeth Cotton: Not half as much as I bother him.
Frank Morgan - Judge Cotton
Lana Turner - Elizabeth Cotton

- Jean: I don't see why I have to do all the dirty work. There must be plenty of rich old dames just waiting for you to push them around.
- "Colonel" Harrington: You find them, I'll push them.
Barbara Stanwyck - Jean
Charles Coburn - "Colonel" Harrington