“Daddy, we're in Pakistan. Let's sew some soccer balls.”
Tom Greening - Gord Brody

“There's a lot of resentment in this country toward the Middle East and there's a lot of stereotypes floating around which I don't think are true because in the short amount of time I've known you, you haven't tried to bomb anybody and you currently smell okay to me.”

Evan Rachel Wood - Kimberly Joyce

“- Kimberly Joyce: How does an Arab get his wife pregnant?
- Randa: I do not know.
- Kimberly Joyce: She gets naked and lies down on the bed, he jerks off on the wall, and they let the flies do the rest.”
Evan Rachel Wood - Kimberly Joyce
Adi Schnall - Randa

“- Garbitsch: Brunettes are trouble makers. They're worse than the Jews.
- Hynkel - Dictator of Tomania: Then wipe them out.
- Garbitsch: Start small. Not so fast. We get rid of the Jews first, then concentrate on the brunettes.”
Henry Daniell - Garbitsch
Sir Charlie Chaplin - Hynkel - Dictator of Tomania

“- Garbitsch: We've had to make a few arrests.
- Hynkel - Dictator of Tomania: A few? How many?
- Garbitsch: Nothing astronomical. Five or ten thousand... a day.”
Henry Daniell - Garbitsch
Sir Charlie Chaplin - Hynkel - Dictator of Tomania