“Jimmy the Goose, larger than life and twice as ugly!”
Steve Bisley - Jim Goose

“You look like the back end of a moose.”
Russell Crowe - John Biebe

“You know, if my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave his butt and tell him to walk backwards.”
Patrick Renna - Hamilton 'Ham' Porter

“That's right, don't show your ugly mugs, the shock would sink our boat.”
Gregg Fitzgerald - Fergus

“- Stacy Lockwood: Hey, Monica, forget your broom?
- Monica: I don't need a broom to fly away from you, you bitch.”
Tori Spelling - Stacy Lockwood
Kathryn Morris - Monica Whitley