“- Stan Bobcruz: Do the pattern breathing, come on.
- Darcy Elliot Bobrucz: Screw the pattern breathing, I want a painkiller!”

Randall Batinkoff - Stan Bobrucz
Molly Ringwald - Darcy Elliot Bobrucz

“- Michael Newman: Thank you, Mom for having me, I know it was a lot of pain.
- Trudy Newman: You have no idea.”
Adam Sandler - Michael Newman
Julie Kavner - Trudy Newman

“- George Peters: Doris, what the hell is the matter?
- Doris: If memory serves me correctly, I just had a labor pain.
- George Peters: You can't have. It must be indigestion.
- Doris: No, there's a difference. Indigestion doesn't make you eyes bug out.”
Alan Alda - George Peters
Ellen Burstyn - Doris

“You didn't get pregnant with your legs closed!”

Jill Parker-Jones - Lamaze Instructor

“No wonder you're a nervous wreck. You're not going crazy. You're just becoming a mother.”

Todd Allen - Jim Morar