“- Grandma: Sir, can I trouble you for a glass of warm milk? It helps me go to sleep.
- Nursing Home Orderly: You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up! Now, you will go to sleep! Or I will put you to sleep. Check out the name tag. You're in my world now, grandma!”
Frances Bay - Grandma
Ben Stiller - Orderly in Nursing Home

“There was a time in this country, a long time ago, when reading wasn't just for fags and neither was writing. People wrote books and movies, movies that had stories so you cared whose ass it was and why it was farting. And I believe that time can come again!”
Luke Wilson - Joe Bauers

“The cultural environment in which one lives ought to be as important as the air he breathes, the food he eats.”
Željko Ivanek - Mr. Cleary

“- Sara McDowel: What did you have in mind?
- Harris K. Telemacher: Well, I was thinking of taking you on a cultural tour of L.A.
- Sara McDowel: That's the first fifteen minutes, then what?”
Victoria Tennant - Sara McDowel
Steve Martin - Harris K. Telemacher

I had to go to Greek school, where I learned valuable lessons such as, "If Nick has one goat and Maria has nine, how soon will they marry?"
Nia Vardalos - Toula Portokalos