“- Paul Stephens: Who's Anne Frank?
- Jenny Anderman: Um, a girl in my English class.”
Christopher Collet - Paul Stephens
Cynthia Nixon - Jenny Anderman

“- Mr. Thorn: Murph! What's 3 plus 2?
- Murph: Mmmmm... 4.
- Mr. Thorn: Murph, you've been in the 6th grade since I started teaching here, I really want to get you out this year. Now, please, please work with me. What's 3 plus 2?”
James Tolkan - Mr. Thorn
Eric Edwards - Murph

“- Cop: Come on, we're headin' downtown.
- Sugar Bear: Where your warrant at?
- Cop: Behind that preposition.
- Sugar Bear: What?
- Cop: Didn't you go to school? You can't end a sentence with a preposition.
- Sugar Bear: Oh. Then, uh, where your warrant at, motherfucker?”
Ralph Price - Cop
Reginald Ballard - Sugar Bear

“And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals.”

Graham Kartna - Homeschooled Boy

“- Frank Adler: We've discussed this ad nauseum.
- Mary Adler: What's ad nauseum?
- Frank Adler: Oh, you don't know? Well, looks like someone needs school.”
Chris Evans - Frank Adler
Mckenna Grace - Mary Adler