“She looked at me like I was a dope, which I never really minded from her. And she had a point, I guess. We knew each other as well then as now. Anyway, well enough.”

Billy Bob Thornton - Ed Crane

“You never call him. But if he calls you you talk to him, then act like you have another call, keep him on hold for a long time. Like longer than you think is passable. And break dates. After he's additcted, cut him off. That's when you got him.”

Bridgette Wilson-Sampras - Lisa Cramer

“- Halley Martin: I think I like you too much already to actually go out with you.
- Macon Forrester: What kind of logic is that?
- Halley Martin: It's logical logic. Haven't you ever noticed that when two members of the opposite sex get together eventually someone ends up getting hurt?”
Mandy Moore - Halley Martin
Trent Ford - Macon Forrester

“- Peevy: You got a good thing goin' on with that girl, Clifford. And I'm tellin' you right now, if she flies the coop, it's gonna be your fault.
- Cliff: What do you know about women, Peev? You haven't had a date since 1932.
- Peevy: Flora Maxwell. There wasn't any point datin' nobody after her.”

Alan Arkin - Peevy
Billy Campbell - Cliff

“- Jane Spencer: I feel like such a fool. I should have never doubted you.
- Lt. Frank Drebin: There, there. You had no way of knowing the man you were dating was a vicious, murdering sociopath.”
Priscilla Presley - Jane Spencer
Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin