“- Tony Stark: So, you're the Spiderling. Crime-fighting Spider. You're Spider-Boy?
- Peter Parker: S-Spider-Man.
- Tony Stark: Not in that onesie, you're not.
- Peter Parker: It's not a onesie.”
Robert Downey Jr. - Tony Stark
Tom Holland - Peter Parker

“- Phil: You're not really wearing that are you?
- Alan: Wearing what?
- Phil: The man purse. You actually gonna wear that or are you guys just fuckin' with me?
- Alan: It's where I keep all my things. Get a lot of compliments on this. Plus it's not a purse, it's called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.”
Bradley Cooper - Phil
Zach Galifianakis - Alan

“They're hot, Chief! They've got fire in their eyes, hunger in their bellies and great big shoes on their feet!”

Richard R. Grant - Clifford

“It's like the Michael Bolton starter kit.”
Ryan Reynolds - Chris Brander

“- Annie: You've got a lot of style for somebody with pigeon crap on their shoulder, Cosmo.
- Cosmo Carboni: That isn't real pigeon crap. That's just something I had sewn on to make me stand out in a crowd. You know?”
Anne Archer - Annie
Sylvester Stallone - Cosmo Carboni