“- Staunton's Secretary: I was in California once. How do you get any work done with all that sunshine?
- Katherine Ann Watson: We tan in class.”
Julia Roberts - Katherine Ann Watson

“- Roy O'Bannon: There's this new thing they're starting out in California: moving pictures. There's no sound, so we won't have to worry about the language problem, and I think the kung fu stuff could be huge! People are dying for a good action flick.
- Chon Wang: Chon Wang, movie star? It could work.”
Owen Wilson - Roy O'Bannon
Jackie Chan - Chon Wang

“I sent two healthy 65-year old parents to South Florida. 30 years later - dead! I mean what is it, the water, the air - it's a death camp!”
Robert Klein - Himself

“I've learned a very important lesson today. I'll never shop east of Beverly Hills.”
Bobby Di Cicco - Wally Stephens

“You see, Sammy, in California everybody needs a car. I got a friend who bought a Mercedes just to get to the bathroom.”

Leland Palmer - Audrey Paris