“- Matthew: We get along great, we laugh together, we like the same music, the same sports, we get along just great.
- Soda Shop Counterman: Then what's the problem?
- Matthew: She don't know I'm a boy.
- Soda Shop Counterman: Kid, with this girl, I don't know what you're doin', but you must be doin' it wrong.”

Jonathan Brandis - Matthew
E.D. Tyree - Soda Shop Counterman

“Now listenhere, you mullet. Why don't you just light your tampon, and blow your box apart? Because it's the only bang you're ever gonna get, sweetheart!”

Terence Stamp - Bernadette

“These days gentlemen are an endangered species. Unlike bloody drag queens who just keep breeding like rabbits.”
Terence Stamp - Bernadette

“- Felicia: There goes the transsexual, last seen heading south. We called her Bernie, but her real name was...
- Tick: Adam?”
Guy Pearce - Felicia
Hugo Weaving - Tick

“- Doug Remer: That's a dude.
- Squeak Scolari: No way, you're just saying that because you want her for yourself.
- Doug Remer: No dude, I'm saying that because she's a guy.
- Squeak Scolari: That's impossible. Just look at her. She's got the cutest little upturned nose, the softest lips. The sweetest Adam's apple.”
Trey Parker - Doug Remer
Dian Bachar - Squeak Scolari