“- Roland Sharp: Why do you find it necessary to listen to this constant crap?
- Anne: What's the matter? You don't like vagina music?
- Roland Sharp: Do you have to use that word before I've had my coffee and soymilk?”

Tommy Lee Jones - Roland Sharp
Christina Milian - Anne

“- Sarge: Will you turn that disrespectful junk off?
- Fillmore: Respect the classics, man! It's Hendrix!”

Paul Dooley - Sarge
George Carlin - Fillmore

“- Chris: What about music?
- Dr. Ashley: Music... Okay... Suzanne Vega, The Cure, anything from the '80's.”

Michael Vartan - Chris
Dana Delany - Dr. Ashley

“- Kane: I just don't like techno.
- J.P.: You would if you had robot ears.”
Kelvin Yu - Kane
Joel David Moore - J.P.

“- Junior: Syncopators. Does that mean you play that very fast music... jazz?
- Sugar Kane Kowalczyk: Yeah, real hot.
- Junior: I guess some like it hot. I personally prefer classical music.”
Tony Curtis - Junior
Marilyn Monroe - Sugar Kane Kowalczyk