“- Stokely: You know, you were right about me. I don't have any friends and I like it that way. Being lesbian is just my security.
- Marybeth: Security against what?
- Stokely: People like you.”
Clea DuVall - Stokely 'Stokes' Mitchell
Laura Harris - Marybeth Louise Hutchinson

“- Jan: I mean, everybody thinks I'm this big dyke because... 'cause I wear baggy pants, I play softball, and... and I'm not as pretty as other girls, but that doesn't make me gay. I mean, I like guys. I can't help it. I just want a big fat wiener up my...
- Andre: Amen, sister.”
Katrina Phillips - Jan
Douglas Spain - Andre

“Chicks are for fags.”
Eric Christian Olsen - Lloyd Christmas

“- Doctor: Now you be careful, Earl, or else my grandson might just steal that pretty gal of yours away from you.
- Jimbo: Gramps, I ain't gonna steal Earl's gal, I'm gay.”
Larry Hovis - Doctor
Matthew Davis - Jimbo

“Darling, I am more man than you will ever be, and more woman than you will ever get.”

Philip Seymour Hoffman - Rusty