“- Emma Dinsmore: What's your book about?
- Alex Sheldon: It's the story of a man who's frightened of commitment yet so desperately in love with a woman he's afraid it might kill him. It's a comedy.”
Kate Hudson - Emma Dinsmore
Luke Wilson - Alex Sheldon

“It's been a long time since someone wrote a really good book in jail.”
Michael Douglas - Prof. Grady Tripp

“- Terry Crabtree: Naturally you have copies.
- Prof. Grady Tripp: I have an alternate version of the first chapter.”

Robert Downey Jr. - Terry Crabtree
Michael Douglas - Prof. Grady Tripp

“- Jamal: We've been talking about your book at school.
- Forrester: People have been talking about it for years. They just haven't been saying anything.
- Jamal: I think I got it down, though. I figure you were writing about how life never works out.
- Forrester: Really? You had to read a book to figure that out?”
Rob Brown - Jamal Wallace
Sir Sean Connery - William Forrester

“Medical books aren't written about losers!”
Laurence Fishburne - Thrax