“- Ella: Is that me?
- Link: Betty
- Ella: Betty... Betty?
- Link: Betty Betty Nuggs.
- Ella: Betty Nuggs?”

Robin Tunney - Ella
Brendan Fraser - Link

“Figures, hot on the outside, icycle in the middle. Two minutes.”

Pauly Shore - Stoney Brown

“- Cousin Eddie: How do you like yours, Clark?
- Clark Griswold: Oh, medium rare, a little pink inside.
- Cousin Eddie: No, I mean your bun.”
Randy Quaid - Cousin Eddie
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

- Jennifer Baker: You said "Love Cake"!
- Pistachio Disguisey: Why would I say that? Your hindquarters are hideously scrawny!
- Jennifer Baker: What?
- Pistachio Disguisey: What I was trying to say is that I have a present for Barney. [hands her knee pads] Tell him they are from his dad... da da da dat Italian guy... Me.
Jennifer Esposito - Jennifer Baker
Dana Carvey - Pistachio Disguisey

“- Martinella: I'm looking for Henry Rulenfurter.
- Henry Rowengartner: Henry Rowengartner?
- Martinella: Yeah.
- Henry Rowengartner: I'm Henry!
- Martinella: I might be looking for your father.”
Albert Hall - Martinella
Thomas Ian Nicholas - Henry Rowengartner