“I can't make caviar out of fish eggs!”
Jon Lovitz - Sol

“- Brian Wagner: Listen, you coming over for dinner tonight?
- David Sloan: What's cooking?
- Brian Wagner: Mom's pot rust. Listen, she thinks everybody likes it.
- David Sloan: Not a word from me, I promise.”
Vince Murdocco - Brian Wagner
Sasha Mitchell - David Sloan

“- Barney: I don't get it. I marry Annabelle and I spend my honeymoon with you.
- Sunshine: Well, I can cook.”
Frank McHugh - Barney
William Demarest - Sunshine

“- Margaret: Put some elbow grease behind that stirring. Nobody wants to eat any burnt tapioca.
- Libby: Does it smell like it's burning?
- Margaret: Oh, I swear you got shit for brains, girl.”
Roma Maffia - Margaret
Ashley Judd - Libby

“- Tara Boumdeay: I speak perfect English. I also cook 815 international dishes, perform 637 sexual acts, use all the popular home appliances. Shall I cook you something.
- Chad Finletter: No. Thank you.
- Tara Boumdeay: How 'bout a blow job, maybe iron your pants?”
Karen M. Waldron - Tara Boumdeay
Anthony Starke - Chad Finletter