“Wanna hear some poetry? There once was a man from Bandoo. Who fell asleep in a canoe. He dreamed of Venus and played with his penis and woke up with a hand full of goo!”
Cameron Diaz - Christina Walters

“- Thornton Melon: What's your favorite subject?
- Bubbles the Hot Tub Girl: Poetry.
- Thornton Melon: Really? Well, maybe you can help me straighten out my Longfellow.”
Rodney Dangerfield - Thornton Melon
Becky LeBeau - Bubbles the Hot Tub Girl

“- Frank: I knew a girl that looked just like you.
- To-Bel: Really?
- Frank: I wrote a poem about her. Do you want to hear it? Hey, Chocolate Mama, she's got a stomach like a Hershey snare drum, she's got an ass like a nasty heart, beating on the other side, like a dark globe of every place a man could want to go.
- To-Bel: Oh, how you talk.”
Ray Sharkey - Frank
Arnetia Walker - To-Bel

“I'm an Aztec warrior!”

Jacob Vargas - Joker

"Soon the primal fire began to burn in Lady Hookstraten's body. Her hips twitched and trembled as each fireball from Oliver's powerful cannon erupted like molten lava into the quivering mouth of her ever-fluttering love purse".

Steve Martin - Larry