“- Paramedic #1: You have no pulse, your blood pressure's zero-over-zero, you have no pupillary response, no reflexes and your temperature is 70 degrees.
- Freddy: Well, what does that mean?
- Paramedic #1: Well, it's a puzzle because, technically, you're not alive. Except you're conscious, so we don't know what it means.”

Drew Deighan - Paramedic #1
Thom Mathews - Freddy

“When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go, for obvious reasons... were the fatties.”
Jesse Eisenberg - Columbus

“We are all corpses here! This rendezvous is one of the musical graveyards of the town. Caters to zombies hopping around with dead hearts and price tags for souls.”

Thomas Mitchell - Gene Gibbons

“Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?”
Nick Frost - Ed

“Stop killing the dead. They're mine. If you don't want the dead coming back to life, why don't you just kill the living? Shoot them in the head. Are you listening to me?”