“- Jay: Why the big secret? People are smart. They can handle it.
- Kay: A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it.”
Will Smith - Jay
Tommy Lee Jones - Kay

“- Chon Wang: He was the Keeper of the Imperial Seal.
- Roy O'Bannon: That's what I love about China. Everybody's job description sounds so damn cool!”

Jackie Chan - Chon Wang
Owen Wilson - Roy O'Bannon

“- Roy O'Bannon: It's just a rock with some gibberish on it!
- Chon Wang: It's Chinese!”

Owen Wilson - Roy O'Bannon
Jackie Chan - Chon Wang

“You got me hard as Chinese arithmetic in here!”

D.L. Hughley - Derrick West

“- Loveless Hentchman: I learned that from a China man.
- James West: I just made that up.”

Will Smith - James West