“- Leah: Jones, what in the world makes you think I would ever go out with you?
- Osmosis Jones: What you talking about? I'm a legend, girl! The chicks line up to divide with me!
- Leah: Oh really? 'Cause to me you look like the kind of cell who mostly divides with himself.”
Brandy Norwood - Leah
Chris Rock - Osmosis Jones

“- Major Kirby: That's why we say a girl like you is attractive.
- Susan Applegate: Am I?
- Major Kirby: Yes. You have very nice eyes and good straight legs and theirs a sort of glow to your hair.”
Ray Milland - Major Kirby
Ginger Rogers - Susan Applegate

“- Solina: Does English charm work on English women?
- Simon Sheppard: Why not, Solina? One reason.
- Solina: I don't date men that I work with.”
Jennifer Esposito - Solina
Jonny Lee Miller - Simon Sheppard

“- Marisa Ventura: There's millions of women who are just dying for you to look their way.
- Christopher Marshall: Then why are you making me work so hard?”
Jennifer Lopez - Marisa Ventura
Ralph Fiennes - Christopher Marshall

“- Cay Rivvers: Can't you find something better to do?
- Walter: Not since you came onto the scene!”
Patricia Charbonneau - Cay Rivvers
Alex McArthur - Walter